Relapse

The song "Insensitive" by Jann Arden never fails to remind my best friend of me, and for that reason, it never fails to bring a rueful smile to my face. It's become a running joke, originating from our high school days when she'd often call me out for being, well, insensitive. When she began associating the aptly titled song with me, I couldn't exactly protest, because I acknowledge that when it comes to other people's feelings, I tend to be quite slow on the uptake. Back then I attributed it to low EQ more than anything, an inability (or at least incompetence) to process and respond to emotions. But I have grown up a lot since high school, and I'd like to think that since then, my lapses in sensitivity have decreased in both frequency and gravity. I'd also like to think that it's leaning more toward sheer density now, a mere cluelessness rather than a cold disregard for others' feelings.

However, I do admit that there is still a part of me that neglects to take others' feelings into account, and I make no excuses for that. I was never naturally good at interpersonal relations; I have to work at it and make a conscious effort to be a good sister/daughter/friend/colleague/teacher/boss. Despite best efforts though, I still occasionally mess up and end up inadvertently offending or hurting someone. I was recently reminded of this, and even though I initially bristled at how my good intentions were misinterpreted, I ultimately took it as a welcome wake-up call that perhaps I'm slipping back into my insensitive ways again. Time to recalibrate my sensors and give my EQ a tune-up. And time to get Jann Arden out of my head.