10 things you may not know (but should) about Ailee

I was still sound asleep at 1 in the afternoon when Maddy called me on my cell phone, jarring me awake. When I told her (groggily) that she had just cut short my stay in the land of Nod, she laughed in disbelief. I realized that with the exception of my close high school and college friends, not many know of my weekend ritual of sleeping until early or mid-afternoon. I just love sleeping, and the more hours I can get away with the better. For me, sleep is one of the purest forms of blissful release. But it's also weird because I am a nocturnal person, and I can stay up really really late, and I can also go without sleep for more than 48 hours straight. Aren't I a lovely bundle of contradictions.

In order to avoid another unintentional wake-up call and other things that may inconvenience me or tick me off (but don't worry Maddy, I swear I wasn't sore with you), I have drawn up a list of 10 things people may not know about me, but probably should. Consider this a friendly warning in the interest of public welfare, since some people (especially my students) claim I am scary when mad.

1. Obviously, since I'm a nocturnal person, I am definitely not a morning person. This explains why I am sometimes late for work, because it's a struggle to get out of bed so early in the morning. Therefore, as much as possible, do not schedule anything with me before lunch, unless you intend on buying me breakfast and a tall cup of coffee to wake me up.

2. I hate pink. No, make that I loathe pink. Pink is the most revolting color in the entire spectrum of colors (no matter what Rachel says). I do not own a single stitch of pink clothing (I have gotten rid of my much detested ICA uniforms, hah!), nor will I ever voluntarily wear anything pink, rose, or any shade resembling such. Therefore, do not give me anything pink, because chances are, I will not let it see the light of day.

3. I have weak knees. When I was in grade 6, I dislocated my right kneecap while playing table tennis. You may wonder how one injures herself playing such a dangerous sport. Well, clumsy, ill-coordinated me slipped and banged my knee on our garage floor. In my second year of high school, while we were on vacation in Cebu, it happened to my left knee, and it was bizaare because I simply sat down on a hotel bed and my left kneecap popped out. It turns out I am missing some ligaments in my knees which make them prone to dislocation. Therefore, do not invite me to engage in any activities that put too much pressure on my knees, lest they pop out again.

4. One of my biggest pet peeves is when things don't go according to plan. I can be a bit of a control freak, so it gets on my nerves when someone (including, and perhaps especially, myself) is late, or when people back out of commitments. Therefore, if you have an appointment with me and you don't want to get on my bad side, please show up on time, and never stand me up. Please.

5. I am a picky eater, and sometimes my food aversions make no sense whatsoever. Take my dislike of young corn and cucumber, for example (right, AP-Annex?). Or my refusal to eat sushi. Or wasabi. Or green mangoes. Or salmon. Therefore, do not offer me any weird things to eat, since I would most probably politely but firmly turn you down anyway.

6. I am tone deaf, though that doesn't prevent me from singing in the shower and at videoke outings with friends I am comfortable baring my musical inadequacies to. But I am definitely what Simon Cowell would call a horrendous singer; I suspect I could make even William Hung sound good. Therefore do not ask me to perform in public. Have pity on everyone within earshot.

7. If you haven't noticed, I do not have ear piercings. No female in my immediate family does, and it's become something of a trademark that my sister and I intend to keep, unless our future daughters insist on getting their ears pierced. Therefore, it's pointless to give me earrings of any kind.

8. I do not, nor will I ever, paint my nails, even with transparent polish. My hands and feet are two of my few vanities, and I like keeping them immaculate, which includes keeping them color-free. Therefore, do not volunteer to paint my nails, for you will meet a flat refusal.

9. I abhor golf. My father and brother are golf fanatics, but I think it is a despicable sport. It is one of the most blatantly elitist sports, and it's practically a social sin. Playing it consumes too much time and money, and the courses take up too much water and land. Imagine if you divide all the golf courses in the world into smaller parcels of land and converted them into farm land or distributed it to the poor. See what I mean? Therefore, do not attempt to talk to me about PGA tournaments or Tiger Woods, for I will just get up on my soapbox and start ranting about the evils of golf.

10. I am allergic to all small live creatures, including house pets and children. I do not like hanging around anything that cannot hold up their end of an intelligent conversation or are not able to pee and poop properly on their own. Therefore, keep your dogs and cats and guinea pigs (sorry, Fara!) and little brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews and daughters and sons as far, far away from me as possible, for their health as well as mine.

If you haven't noticed, I hate a lot of things. The list could drag on beyond 10 (organized religion, Philippine government officials, LaSalle...) but trust me, you don't want me to go there anymore.