Wednesday, September 21, 2005

No fair!

Life isn't fair. I established this with a reasonable amount of certainty back during my angst-ridden college days. Anytime I'd catch myself whining "it isn't fair" I'd remind myself, life isn't fair, so shut up and deal with it. This attitude has served me well for many years now and has seen me through many personal/existential crises. However, it still doesn't cushion the initial blow of being dealt a severe injustice, or being treated in a blatantly unfair manner. And when that happens I still feel my face heating up from suppressed outrage, and I have to vent and spew my fury at the closest sounding board I can find.

Unfortunately I am now in a line of work where injustice and unfair treatment are a way of life, and there's very little I can do to combat it. At least when I was still a teacher, I could always play the morality card and invoke ethics and values (not that I won all my moral/ethical battles-- indeed I learned that principles can be flimsy weapons against bureaucracy and politics). But now that I'm an entrepreneur, even the most basic morals are rendered worthless and I am left with nothing but my wrath and murderous visions of blowing up certain corporate offices of oppressive business bigshots. I can take emerging from the battlefield bloodied, but I don't like coming out of it without even being given a chance to fight the good fight. If I go down, I want to go down kicking and screaming; when I joined the business world, I had to forfeit my kicking and screaming rights, since I don't want to risk jeopardizing all that my parents have built from the ground up.

I still love what I'm doing now, but I do wish I could raise more hell in this job. It's frustrating to be bullied by unscrupulous individuals who just won't give you your due. It's maddening to be belittled, bypassed and snubbed despite all the hard work and solid results you've delivered. It's infuriating to see less deserving parties reap the rewards while you bust your butt but still get the short end of the stick. It's just not fair.

But like I said. Life isn't fair. Deal with it.


At Wednesday, September 21, 2005, Blogger Elyse said...

whenever i get disillusioned, i think of AP-ANNEX. People who are FAIR :)

At Friday, September 23, 2005, Anonymous Jac said...

Whenever i tell my mom about life being unfair we have this conversation:

Mom: Look at your fingers. Are they all the same length?
Me: No.
Mom: Learn from your fingers. Life isn't fair!

I began thinking about it more. Learning from my fingers, i realized that every finger aids in accomplishing the function of the hand. God may have a purpose as to why life isn't fair for us in the greater scheme of things. :)

At Saturday, September 24, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i can totally relate!!

just yesterday i had a BIG 'life isn't fair. deal with it' moment.

ganyan talaga ang buhay(yesss this is a sign of maturity, isnt it?).


At Saturday, September 24, 2005, Blogger Ailee Through the Looking Glass said...

Look at how my kids are growing up. :) Life may not be fair, but you guys always remind me that it CAN be pretty sweet.

At Monday, September 26, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Life's not fair, but it's not fair for everyone... so it's fair."

Your spark of idealism that shone from out of your cynicism was really inspiring to us... Don't let the evil suits bring you down. :)

I believe in karma and cosmic justice for all. Every Ham Knapp gets his day.

-Jojo :)

At Monday, September 26, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I mean, from underneath your cynicism... I can't not correct that typo bec m talking to you...


At Thursday, September 29, 2005, Blogger Ailee Through the Looking Glass said...

Thanks Jo. I'm glad I didn't come off as a completely jaded, world-weary GROWN-UP (shudder) while I was teaching you guys. I believe all teachers have to keep their youthful idealism in some way, or else they'll never be able to reach their students.

And yes, we should never let the Ham Knapps of this world get us down. In that regard, I wish I were more like Julian. :)


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