As if being associated with Erap wasn't bad enough...

Manny Pacquiao wants to take up PolSci in the Ateneo.

After he passed the equivalency exam administered by the DepEd and received his high school diploma, the Pacman announced that he wishes to pursue higher learning, and named ADMU as his choice of college. When I heard about his lofty scholastic goal, my initial reaction was to laugh, but the chuckle died in my throat as I realized that if by some sick twist of fate he DOES get into the Ateneo, I would have to acknowledge him as a fellow Atenean. I tried to rationalize that there's no way Pacquiao can survive the ACET, but then my mom was quick to retort that not even my precious Ateneo and its holier-than-thou Jesuits are immune to political pressure and corrupt tactics.

Aghast at the thought, I decided right then and there that should Pacquiao really be deluded enough to chase his Atenean dream, I will volunteer-- no, DEMAND to proctor while he takes the ACET, and insist on checking his paper myself. If that doesn't work, and if the administrators of our beloved alma mater do succumb to external influences and let Pacquiao "pass", then I will help form a picket line outside the gates of the Loyola campus, where I will undoubtedly be joined by many fellow alumni and current members of the student body and faculty.

Lest anyone accuse me of being elitist, I should make clear that my disgust at the thought of Pacquiao studying at the Ateneo isn't because of his pedigree, but his mental acumen. Let's face it, the guy makes L.A. Tenorio look like effing Einstein. Pacquiao can barely string together a complete, coherent sentence in English-- can you imagine him sitting through an hour-long Philosophy class? His head might implode. So you see, I'm actually concerned about his own well-being. If Filipinos want to continue winning international boxing matches, they had better make sure their prized fighter doesn't injure himself from overexertion.

Also, since Pacquiao's motive for choosing Political Science as his major is ostensibly connected to his political ambitions, it is in the nation's best interests to prevent Manny from doing anything towards this insane end. A boxer has no business being in Congress and pretending he knows jack about legislation (neither do movie stars, for that matter... that's right, Richard Gomez and Cesar Montano, I'm talking to you). Pacquiao's place is in the boxing ring; besides, he earns more from prize money and endorsement deals than he ever would from pork barrel and other political "fringe benefits". In order to maintain the lavish lifestyle he has grown accustomed to, Pacquiao has to stick to doing what he does best: slugging it out with Mexican pugs and pimping San Miguel beer.

I therefore conclude that Pacquiao should forget about the Ateneo, to sanctify the already rancid ranks of our government officials, to preserve our chances of attaining glory in the international sports scene, and to protect him against embarrassing and/or hurting himself.

...Oh all right, AND to spare us the ignominy of having to claim him as one of ours. The Atenean pride can only take so much insult. We already have the blight of Kris Aquino on our hands.

However, if all appeals to his better judgment fail, and Pacquiao is truly serious about going to college, then I suggest he try that place along Taft Avenue. I hear they're not very strict with their admissions there, especially for athletes with DepEd certificates. Then again, there's no boxing in the UAAP...