Defeating the doldrums

I have been down in the dumps lately. Now normally a proud, arrogant intellectual snob like me doesn’t like admitting that she succumbs to something as pathetic as depression, but there has undeniably been a cloud of gloom hanging over me since last week. I have been trying my best to shake it off (immersing myself in work, Star Trek DVD marathons, and visits to Max Brenner), but nothing seems to beat my blues (I even neglected my blogging for a few days). Finally, I came up with an action plan that I deliberately decided to set in motion today, the first of August (new month, new start).

Step one of my plan: I am going to exercise. The past few months I have been getting fatter and fatter from lack of physical exertion (I miss my badminton days with AP-Annex!) and excessive pigging out. I’ve never been one to obsess over my looks, but there comes a point when a girl looks into the mirror and just has to go, “Damn, I’m HUGE.” However, I draw the line at dieting and depriving myself of everything; I will just cut back on certain sinful indulgences (auf wiedersehen, Haagen-Dazs!). So exercise it must be. From August onward, I will use our treadmill every night for at least half an hour. I figure it’s not only a healthy way to let off negative energy, it will also help me feel better about myself once I start losing some unwanted pounds and inches.

Step two: I will surround myself with people who make me feel good. Some of my students are very good at this, although they may not even realize how they brighten up my day. My siblings are my favorite source of comfort after a long, hard day. My personal shrink Maddy is amazing, and does not charge me for sessions. A quick text or YM message to my guru Sir Tirol clears my head right away. I miss AP-Annex and my darling LM girls—we’re long overdue for another dinner out. Above all, I miss my best friend: the person who knows me best, and who puts up with me even when I’m being unreasonable, selfish or insensitive. Even when I’m in a dark mood, even when we’re not in touch, the mere idea that she’s out there gives me a sense of peace.

Step three: I will watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory this weekend. It’s not that there’s anything special about the movie, it’s that I haven’t gone out to see a movie in ages. I need some escapism in my life. I need to be entertained, and TV is not enough (CSI is the only show nowadays that keeps me engaged). The quality of my leisure reading also needs to improve; the book I’m reading now is just not doing it for me (Douglas Adams’ “Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency,” which I thought would be a scream like HHGG but is turning out to be more of a feeble yelp). My radio listening habits have taken a turn for the better recently, ever since I switched stations from 89.9 (too much bad pop and OPM that makes a mockery of the O in OPM) to 103.5 (good bands, great classics and smart DJs), so at least I’m headed in the right direction already in that aspect of my entertainment life.

Bottom line: I’m not going to allow myself to wallow in this funk I’m in. Here’s hoping my three-point plan helps. I’m determined to kick the crap out of this so-called depression and live strong (supplement to my three-point plan: I will wear my Lance Armstrong wristband more often). Besides, I’m too much of a proud, arrogant intellectual snob to stay down in the dumps for long.