Ailee the anomaly

My freshman year in college, people persisted in asking me 2 things that got on my nerves. The first (and more popular) query was "ICA ka?", which was invariably followed by a look of shock and bewilderment when I replied in the negative. What, a Chinese girl living in Greenhills who didn't study in ICA?!? How is that possible!?! Eventually though, I got used to it (indeed, 10 years later, I'm still getting that question occasionally, with the same look of bewildered shock I now find amusing), and after my teaching stint in ICA I've learned to take it as less of a slight (given all the preconceived notions and "hin-deh noh!" jokes about ICAns) and more of a compliment.

The second (and more annoying) question that I regularly encountered was "Chinese ka, e di magaling ka sa math?" This presumption peeved me a lot, not only because of its implied racial stereotyping, but because well, quite frankly and simply put, I suck at math. So it was somewhat huffily that I would reply, "Actually, allergic ako sa numbers."

This was almost physiologically accurate. Whenever I sat for a Math or Accounting exam, either my arms would feel strangely itchy, or I would get the strongest urge to vomit. I have always struggled in subjects that involved numbers in any way: Math, Statistics, Accounting, Finance, even Chemistry and Physics. Somehow my brain is just not programmed to process figures and equations properly. Even now that I'm vice president of our company, I have trouble computing for salaries and deductions, cost prices and SRPs, taxes and expenses, and I regard invoices and financial data and bank statements with the same dread and loathing as a Math midterm exam paper. This is to the undying frustration of my mother, who once taught high school math part-time while earning a degree in BS Mathematics, which she eventually finished magna cum laude. During our schooling years, I imagine she sometimes looked at her 3 mathematically-challenged children and wondered despairingly where her numerical intelligence genes went, the genes she inherited from her father, a man who can compute stuff on an abacus faster than most people can on a calculator. I am a disgrace to my family, as well as to my entire race.

Which wiseguy first propagated the notion that all Chinese are good in math anyway? Granted, a lot of people who do well in math are Chinese, but that doesn't mean all or even the majority of our kind are math whizzes. My mom has a theory that it's because the multiplication table is easier and faster to recite in Chinese, so Chinese kids learn it better and consequently solve math problems more quickly. This theory wouldn't be so lame if it weren't for the fact that I can recite the multiplication table in Chinese at machine-gun speed, but I'm still pathetic when it comes to more complicated equations. My mom, grasping at the straws of genetics and linguistics, tries to blame my mathematical deficiencies on my education, saying both my grade school and high school were weak in Math, but that's just laughable because Uno has a reputation for producing some of the brightest math nerds in the country, while Jubilee... ok, so I did win a "Best in Algebra" award from the Math Club during my senior year, but that was a fluke, and largely thanks to my best friend (who IS a math whiz) unexpectedly screwing up the last question of the quiz.

Or perhaps I should consider the possibility that I really am just an abnormal freak of nature. The other day I saw in the news that a group of Filipino students brought home dozens of medals from the 3rd International Mathematics Invitational Competition held in Singapore. The list of names of medal-winners reads like roll call at a school in downtown Binondo: Uys, Chuas, Cos, Tans.... I know it's a noteworthy achievement and something to be proud of (hooray Philippines! hooray Chinese-Filipino students!), but it's stuff like this that makes it hard to dispel the "all Chinese are good in math" myth, and makes me look even more like a defective product off a China factory assembly line.

But hey, this is how I'm wired, faultily or not. And if in exchange for the lack of math skills I got the innate ability to write with flawless grammar, that's not such a bad deal (you wouldn't be enjoying reading my blog so much otherwise... assuming you ARE enjoying it). So yes, I'm a Chinese girl who sucks in math. Yes, we do exist, much like non-ICAn Chinese girls living in Greenhills also exist. So please, wipe that look of bewildered shock off your face. :p